There are many mixed viewpoints on New Year’s resolutions. Some are a great proponent of the hard-lined concept while others pooh-pooh the idea, claiming that the concept simply sets us up for failure. I propose another viewpoint.

Instead of those hard-lined resolutions that so often become a ball and chain we drag around until finally cutting loose in March, maybe a softer, more thoughtful approach could work? After all, human beings usually respond better to moderation than they do to restriction. (Which is why most fad diets don’t work.)

I propose a thoughtful and introspective assessment; thinking holistically (mental, physical, relational, spiritual, emotional), reviewing the previous year while looking ahead to the coming one can be extremely cathartic and useful. I also think that a positive approach is important, not to look at things we didn’t accomplish as failures, but as opportunities to grow from we learn.

Here are six helpful questions to ask while preparing for a new year.

1. What were my successes this past year?
2. What were the things I did not accomplish?
3. What goals did I achieve?
4. What goals did I not succeed in meeting and why?
5. Which of those unmet goals do I want to try to achieve in the coming year and what will I do differently to achieve them in the New Year?
6. Are there new goals I want to add to that list?

I find this softer, more honest approach helpful. It’s like having a year-end self check-up that tells the realistic story of our lives. Gaining confidence from accomplishments, facing the reasons why we did not accomplish other goals, and determining new ways to get on that proverbial horse again are the keys to a successful new year. The mantra being, try and try again while remaining hopeful and realistic. Our resolution should be to live a more positive approach by acknowledging our accomplishments and seeing the things we want to change or do better as opportunities, not failure.

Happy 2015!